Surgery Update For Those Who Give A Crap

I went to the new QE, Queen Elizabeth of course, Hospital on August 3rd for an ear grommet. I figured it would be local anesthesia but turns out it's actually general. I was told to be there at seven thirty in the morning. When I got there I was stuck in a waiting hall with a load of other people having minor surgery that day. I got called in around 8:00am and was shown to bed number 33. And there Paul and I waited until 11:30am!! We talked, read and I snoozed for an hour. Finally they marked a big black X on my left ear, slapped an identification band on my wrist, taped my wedding ring to my finger and wheeled me into theater. I got a cannula put in my wrist and an oxygen mask placed over my mouth. Then my wrist started to ache. Then my body got all relaxed and then...lights out.

I came to in the recovery room after sleeping off the drugs for half an hour. I felt fine. Actually really fine. They wheeled me back to Paul who planted a big kiss on my dry lips. Then they brought me a ham sandwich and a cuppa. I was famished after having fasted for almost 18 hours, so that thin little sandwich tasted like the best thing in the world.

They like to see you chill out for an hour or two after surgery and keep an eye on you. I was doing great and didn't need any pain medication. So we left around 3:30pm to scoop up Chachi from Eve's house.

All in all it was a big success! And it was free! My hearing is slowly returning to normal as the swelling goes down. It's fantastic to be hearing things again! I was dreading being put under again. It's really creepy, knowing they turned you over, threw a tube down your throat and God knows what else, all while you were passed out with some dumb look on your face. But it's totallty worth it to be normal again.

I Broke Up With My Television

And we have been seeing each other for many, many years. We go way back. TV has always been a part of my life. When I was a latch key kid back in the 80's I used to come home to Gilligan's Island everyday. Which was the second best part about being a L.K.K. I wore my house key on a piece of string around my neck. Every morning my Mom would warm the key in her hands before carefully dropping it down the front of my t-shirt, that was the best part. On my own I also used to do science experiments, eat lots of saltines and draw hearts around the faces of the boys I liked on our class photo. But I was never really alone, Gilligan was always there..."the Skipper too." Comforting me in the background.

At one point I had my Mom's little, old black and white TV in my bedroom. I used to stay up late and sneak episodes of the Benny Hill show. With the occasional flash of knickers this seemed so naughty. My Mom doesn't watch TV at all now, however I always thought it was so cool that she's seen every episode of Perry Mason, on that old black and white TV. Of course now I have too.

After I moved in with my Dad, in fifth grade, and his comprehensive cable package, I truly fell in love with TV. We had HBO and Cinamax. I remember when they first started a comedy channel. It was called "HA!" This has since morphed into Comedy Central. But when it began they would have tons of stand up comedy, which I would devour. Even though I was still just a kid and a lot of it was aimed at adults I would sit for hours laughing til I cried.

Even with our fancy cable my Dad still watched PBS religiously. There's even a story about him not wanting to go to the hospital with my Step mom, who was in labor, until Dr. Who had finished. I used to curl up next to my Pops on the couch to help him watch Dr. Who and Saturday night BritComs like "The Young Ones". This began my lifelong obsession Britain. And, in essence, is how I ended up where I am today. I was an anglophile from a young age with more than a passing fondness for a British accent as an adult. I was a goner from the very first second I met Paul.

As an adult I've watched more than my fair share of TV. I can watch just about anything. I like stupid reality shows, old crap movies and I even got drawn into a soap opera in high school. I'd be hard pressed to make a list of my top five shows, as I love so many. I've used TV as a companion in an empty, lonely house. As a window into another culture. As a hangover cure. As a boredom cure. As an excuse to avoid work/friends/school. Even as a teacher when I took a math class that was televised. I love watching television. With that said, here's why we broke up...I'm a mom now. And I have big responsibility to another human.
I was hesitant to write about giving up TV, for fear of being seen as a radical or extremist. I am, however, extremely radical :) I haven't given it up to get on some high horse spouting about the evils of television and commercials. And generally I do follow the mantra of: everything in moderation. However my love of TV makes it hard for me to only watch the good, educational programs. If it's there, and I'm bored or sick, I'll turn it on and flip happily through the channels until I find something good or not too bad to watch. And then I see an advert for something else! Oooo, that looks good! Must watch that. I spose it's a bit like an alcoholic giving up drinking but then living next door to the bar. Too much temptation and the moderation is a distant memory.
I came up with this wacky plan awhile ago and started reading this:

It was just wishful thinking for the first few months. After a long session in front of the tube, with a sore butt and neck I would casually say "We should just get rid of the TV." and Paul would mutter a "Yeah, maybe." But then I would always think to myself: no way can I not watch any TV, ever! That's just crazy talk! What do you do on rainy days, when you have the flu, when CSI is on??? So I was happy with just the fantasy of no TV, listening to music all day, reading or playing games. But in reality it seemed like an absurd, impractical thing to do.

Then I went to Portland and experienced a lot of TV free days with Chachi, my Mom and sisters. And Chachi started talking and almost walking and becoming this little person who changes, learns and grows bigger everyday. And I thought about missing out on a new word or cute expression. And I finished my "Living Outside The Box" book. Which was jammed full of reasons to be a TV free family and ideas on how to do it. And I made my mind up to stop thinking about it and just give it a try. Whats the worst that could happen? I can't hack it and the TV comes back? So what. At least I tried. But whats the best that could happen? I kick my TV addiction, raise a creative, smart kid and pick up some new hobbies.

So me, the last person in the world that would ever stop watching TV, decided to do just that. But wait, it's not just me in this plan. Before making such a big lifestyle change I needed to get Paul's approval...

Stay tuned for part 2! Same bat time, same bat channel!

What next...scurvy?!?

For some reason my weak Oregonian immune system has trouble fighting off English illnesses. I seem to acquire a new one each time I move here. The first trip saw me swollen, unhappy and in pain with shingles. Which has left me with a nasty scar on my nose that Charlie likes to point at. He's also real handy when you have a zit.

I fell victim to "Glue Ear" a year ago. I'm sure you have all heard me moaning on and on about it for the last year. But it really is a most annoying condition. I was at my worst last Christmas time. I remember sitting in the dining room with Paul and our friend Marcus not being able to participate in the conversation whatsoever. I could not understand a thing that Marcus said. This situation was made worse by his deep voice, Brummie accent and the copious amounts of Christmas cheer they were consuming. I quietly retired to the living room to watch TV turned up to the max.

I've been on an NHS waiting list for 6 months now for an operation to get grommets inserted which will help the fluid drain and therefore restore my hearing. And just yesterday I finally got my long awaited for letter in the mail! I have a pre-admission session on July 26th and my surgery on August 3. They have included the visiting hours and a warning about no longer allowing flowers to be brought onto the wards. Does this mean I have to stay in the hospital over night?? I hope not, we all know I've spent more than enough time on shared hospital wards.

I'm nervous about the operation but very excited to get back to normal. This condition has impacted my life in so many negative ways and put a halt to any socializing for months. But it's not all bad. Here are a few good things about being deaf:
~I can't hear Paul snoring at night.
~My ears don't pop on car journeys over hills.
~If I'm asked to do something I don't wanna do I just pretend I didn't hear the request.
~It's a great excuse for not answering the door/phone to someone I don't wanna see/talk to.

Yay deaf! I'll keep y'all posted on these upcoming events.

First Haircut

The boy got his first haircut last week at Declan's salon Curl Up and Dye. And judging from the length of that bathhawk in the last post, which was the clear winner by an overwhelming majority...thank you Ri-Ri, not a minute too soon. He was very good and still for the first 10 minutes but then got a bit squirmy when Daddy walked in.

Here the basic hair cutting technique is being described to Chachi.

"Short back and sides please, love."

Taking the new haircut for a spin at Phoebe's birthday party (Yeah, we're still waiting for some side hair to start growin').



And introducing the new and improved bathhawk!

BathHawk vs. BedHead

Who will win? You decide...

"Put down that box of broken glass Charlie!"

As a Mom you do everything you can to protect your children, unless you are trying to cook dinner and your child is tugging on your pant leg while you carry a pot of boiling water to the sink. In that case you will do anything to keep that child entertained and away from your generally klutzy legs. Short of playing with rat poison, an actual rat or sharp knives the boy can entertain himself with anything that will keep him out of my hair for at least 10 minutes.

The other night he played in the freezer. Not so great for the electric bill or the planet, but damnit, I got dinner finished without a single pot of boiling water being spilled on anyone.

As I write this he's bringing me all the contents of the food cabinet. I'm surrounded by custard powder, peanut butter, coffee and taco shells. But hey, I got to post something finally! Totally worth the clean up. Who wants tacos?!

By Popular Demand: The Walking Video

Sorry about the horrible noise I managed to create at the end. Utterly ear shattering.